im always gonna have those days

I'm always gonna have those days,
Where I sit home and dwell on the past
I'm always gonna have those days,
Where I go out and ponder the future.
But I never seem to focus on the present anymore.
Things have been just so coplicated lately, and it's not that big of a deal to me but... why has my whole life been so complicated. Nothing has ever been easy, or even simple for that matter. I just wish for once, things would fall into place, I wouldn't have to go through change every month, I wouldn't have to dwell on the past, or onder my future. I wish that I could just live in the moment, things haven't been easy lately, but they haven't been hard either. I haven't faced something really difficult, but nothing has been easy for me. & It's always been this way, and I believe it will remain constant. I've always fell for players, I've always taken things out of hand. & Just this once, I think I'm gonna do something to better myself, but not only myself, my friends, my family, and everyone around me. I'm rebuilding myself, my courage, my strength, my will power, my soul, my morality, my tolerance, my life.