im always gonna have those days

I'm always gonna have those days,
Where I sit home and dwell on the past
I'm always gonna have those days,
Where I go out and ponder the future.
But I never seem to focus on the present anymore.
Things have been just so coplicated lately, and it's not that big of a deal to me but... why has my whole life been so complicated. Nothing has ever been easy, or even simple for that matter. I just wish for once, things would fall into place, I wouldn't have to go through change every month, I wouldn't have to dwell on the past, or onder my future. I wish that I could just live in the moment, things haven't been easy lately, but they haven't been hard either. I haven't faced something really difficult, but nothing has been easy for me. & It's always been this way, and I believe it will remain constant. I've always fell for players, I've always taken things out of hand. & Just this once, I think I'm gonna do something to better myself, but not only myself, my friends, my family, and everyone around me. I'm rebuilding myself, my courage, my strength, my will power, my soul, my morality, my tolerance, my life.

i have nothing negative to say besides...

stop messing with people relationships!
she does this, every year.
she needs to back offff, and stop talking to him.
shes ruining peoples lives, kay im kinda satisfied now.
no, im not.
im gonna keep ranting.
your a bitch, your a liar, your untrustworthy.
no one ever knows when your gonna throw in a twist and start manipulating again and again.
stop talking to him, and stop being the reason people get in arguments!
dammmmmn, okay so this is stupid to be even writing about so ill stop?
point be said; BACK UP.



ohhh, ntm has been great.
final week, all comes down to this.
im so anxious, and extremely nervous at the same time.
i hope i win, i pray to god i will.



now, lunch has been alotttta fun lately :D
timothy banana milk spoon committed suicide yesterday, how sad.
BUT! tOmothy banana milk spoon got married to tina banana milk spoon today!
story of my life guys, right there.

& START SAYING THIS EVERYDAY, PEACE IN THE MIDDLE EAST!

oh goodie guys!

Finally getting back to the old days,
you know, with devon, mayae, nikki, danielle and everyone
It's been a wild six months without them by my side,
& I'm glad to be getting them back.
Things between me and nikki are going...smooth?
I don't know, it's a complicated situation.

iloveyoubaby,<3

by the way, the whole i love you thingggg.

dont get too excited, because its me ;D

goodbye,

goodbye spring break,
goodbye escape from reality,
goodbye best vacation of my life,
goodbye progress i've made,
goodbye hope,
goodbye integrity,
goodbye tolerance,
goodbye morality,
goodbye common sense,
goodbye simple reasoning,
goodbye.

&theres only 1% keeping me going at this very moment.

its you,

Oh my god, what just happened...?

The past 24 hours have been simply insane.
I've come to realize so much in the past hour,
I mean, what did I do today? Hurt her more than she already is?
She doesnt deserve that, I guess I finally got a taste of my own medicine,
Now I'm hurt, I never realized what an asshole I have been my whole life until this very day.
This day will go down in history, the day I will truely change myself.
The day I will find myself, the real me. Not the asshole Zac, I don't wanna be that person anymore.
I'm done with that, and from now on there won't be confrontations and/or conflict between anyone and myself.
I don't know who I've been lately, & I must have been being such a fucking asshole to everyone.
I'm truely sorry for everything and anything I have caused anyone the past few months.
Her song has really touched my heart deep down, and I can feel the pain I've left her with.
I hate who I've been and I might hate who I will become, but I have to try to be better.
Tonight will be the night I could relapse, dive down back into the deep dark depths of manic depression.
Goodnight,

you were my everything and I really miss you.

The Storm Has Passed.

It's gone, miles from here.
Now effecting someone elses life,
Drowning them in depression,
I feel so sorry for whoever has to go through this.
I'm not gonna state any names here,
But I'm really worries, I hope she's okay and doesn't let this take control over her.
I hope she makes it through, my faith is in you, don't give up.
I love you, and I wouldn't ever wanna see something happen to you.

I don't,

I don't see why everyone can't just get along,
Why can't things be simple while we're still young,
We don't have to make everything as complicated as it's cut out to be,
Can't we just live in a peace, a world with no conflict.
That's where I want to be, no conflict.
This is the time to live your life, no relationships.
No depression,
No broken friendships,
No feeling but happy.

That's right where I want to be.

Long Time, No Post.

Things have been getting a lot better,
I'm feeling so much better this past week,
& maybe it's because a couple people have came back,
& maybe it's because I'm not in this house as often,
but myabe just for once, I'm happy with who I am.
& I won't change for anyone, ever, again.
I love who I am, and I promise you won't bring me down.
No stupid rumors floating around, no person, no tragic event,
nothing will bring me down.



& maybe this whole time I was looking,
maybe love was right in front of me....