As I look back;

As I look back on the old days. I really do miss them so much, like my old friends, I miss them incredibly, and as mean and rude they can get, I miss them alot and I kinda wish we were all still tight. But really though, I look back and I made some REALLY stupid desicions but I have to live with them. I have to live with the choices I made that at the time I thought was the right thing to do. All I'm saying is that I miss having you guys in my life, I miss talking to you and confiding in you when I was down, I miss all the fading memories and I miss all the people that once meant the world to me. & As I go to sleep tonight, I'll realize the mistakes I made.

Well, here goes Ten Honest Things.

So, let's see. Ten honest things:
1.) I'm not looking anymore, I'm just letting things fall into place.
2.) I'm rather procrastinative, is that even a word? Oh well, anyway, I've held off reading To Kill A Mockingbird for English this whole vacation.
3.) I'm not a good boyfriend, I admit, sometimes I cannot be faithful, at all.
4.) I used to have the biggest fear of being hurt, but now that I think about it, getting hurt over and over again is just going to make me stronger than I already am.
5.) I actually think toenails and fingernails are rather creepy if you ask me, if I just sit here and stare at them, I get really scared.
6.) I'm scared shitless of death, other might beg to differ but I myself am afraid to die because I have so much more t live for.
7.) I don't have a sexual orientation, I really don't, you can criticize me, whatever. I'm not bi, I'm not gay, I'm more straight than anything but sometimes I think I'd make out with a guy, but I wouldn't ever date one, that would be too weird.
8.) I'm SO conceited, you don't even know. It's kinda pathetic. I've changed alot since last year, like last year I was so incredibly insecure and shy. But now I've just broken out of my shell and I think alot of myself. I'm not afraid to say something to you, just putting that out there.
9.) I've actually learned that there's more to life than love, love is just a silly little asset now the way I think of it. There's so much more we can live for besdies falling in love.
10.) I talk about my feelings towards others, way more than I probably should. But that's okay. I open my mouth, alot, but ya know what? I'm not just gonna sit here and let some douchebag walk all over me, no, that's not happening. & Honestly, *cough* KING DOUCHEBAG *cough* if you think you can kick my ass, fucking hit me. I promise you'll regret it. I know how to make someones life hell, & I'm very good at the game, so let's play.

five

Tiffani brought to my attention that I haven't posted since November, so I thought I'd fill you in.

1)I'm over my past.
2)I've left some old friends behind.
3)I'm hurt...again.
4)I just made one of the most asshole moves I could've made.
5)Emily, she says I'm the strongest person she has ever met
but I just don't see it. & What I just did proves clearly I'm not.
6)I don't trust many people anymore.
7)Drama is at it's climax let's hope for the season.
8)I fell, kinda hard. & Yeah, it hurts now that it's over but oh well.
9)I have changed once again in the past couple months,
change seems to lways be on my agenda.
10)I'm done with everything and if you want me in your life,
you better be worthy of it and you'll have to prove to me you belong.




Now onto, other things I suppose;
Apparently I'm all of these things:
1.Anorexic
2.Gay
3.Ugly
4.Hot
5.Prep
6.Emo
7.Scene
8.Loner
9.Fake

Honestly, could we stop with the stereotypes for once in our lives?
Just once, it would be nice.



Five tonight, I don't wanna get back to this lifestyle but it's the only way I know how :/


Someone, help me.
Someone, save me.
Someone, someone, please, I'm drowning.